- 2 - 3
- 4 - 5
- 6 - 7
- 8 - 9
- 10 - 11
- 12 - 13
- 14 - 15
- 16 - 17
- 18 - 19
- 20 - 21
- 24- 25 - 26
your income with eBay
and the rest of the financial story by Desiree are the
topics of this newsletter.
what is new
new tax law changes, separation and divorce is about to
get messier. Sandra Block writes in USA Today’s Your
Money column for June 24, 2003 that the $350 billion
tax cut creates new problems from splitting investment
assets to deciding who should claim children as dependents
on tax returns. She advises looking into these issues:
capital gains tax reduction, the marriage penalty relief,
and child tax credit. Block suggests there could be problems
if you and your former spouse take turns claiming children
as dependents on tax returns and reminds divorced couples
who filed jointly in 2002 that refund and/or tax credit
checks will be made out to both of you.
Online Magazine features an article by Desiree that you
might enjoy. Search for the title “Just Say, ‘Yes.’” at
their website www.christianity.com. Before
we meet Debbie in California who shares how to get paid
for those trinkets from the past, let’s hear the
rest of Desiree’s story.
Reflection by Desiree in Oregon
the last issue of the newsletter, I described how my
husband left me with two teenagers and lots of debt and
how I settled with most of the creditors. Unfortunately,
I was unable to save my home. It was sold; the buyers
were waiting to sign the papers. However, the owner who
carried the second refused to sign the papers because
she was so wealthy it was better for her to take it as
a tax write-off than settle for the amount offered. So
the house was irrevocably lost and I had no home.
physician ordered me to rest, and so I went to California
and stayed with close friends for nearly 5 months. My
children moved to their dad’s home temporarily.
I had been raising children for 25 years and now they
were gone. My hopes and dreams lay devastated. How I
grieved my losses—so completely and totally that
I lost 65 pounds. But there were more to come.
I returned to Oregon, I had no place to live, no address,
nothing — except my job, for which I was very thankful.
I rented a room with my girls’ dad. Talk about
uncomfortable! Then one of the medical investigators
I work for asked if I would please housesit for them
while they wintered in their condo in Hawaii. Can you
believe that our God has such a great sense of humor
that he put this homeless woman in a 3000 square foot
$365,000 house for six months at no charge! My primary
job was to pet and feed the cat and try not to kill the
borrowed a friend’s address, had no phone number
except at work, and struggled to pay off the remaining
debt for seven months. I was making dents, yet was behind
on my car payments and had no money for food, rent, or
utilities, which I would need by the first of April.
On a local Christian radio station, I listened to an
interview with two Christian attorneys who dealt with
bankruptcies. When I called in, they assured me bankruptcy
would be the best thing for me to do. When I met with
one of them, he said, “I know your heart is to
pay off all your debts, but your exhusband left you with
so much that it is impossible for you to do. Bankruptcy
gives you an opportunity to start again.” I wept.
Then, I went ahead, restructuring my payments down to
just $200 a month with everyone being paid off.
this period, I had not found a new home church. A beloved
friend, who is also my mentor, called to invite me to
a new church, where I found a home with warmth, acceptance,
and a true focus on Jesus. They cared for me, assisting
me with my first month’s rent. Women organized
my kitchen; guys moved my stuff. A huge burden was lifted.
I went to search for a rental, I was so afraid of being
rejected due to my blotched credit. But after contacting
a rental manger and explaining my credit situation, she
accepted me because of my honesty. I found a lovely little
three-bedroom home with hardwood floors, a utility room,
carport, covered patio, and lots of grass for my little
dog, Daisy Mae to run. The manager even split my deposits
into three payments.
first day I unloaded my car, a neighbor and her daughter
greeted me. “We are so glad you are here! We’ve
been praying for a new neighbor. That house has been
empty for 10 months,” she said. My jaw dropped.
Just think: even before I knew my need, God answered
my prayers! I’d fervently prayed for “a home,
not just a rental.” My home is in a neighborhood
with three other Christian families; and my daughter,
who visits on weekends, has become buddies with the neighbor’s
miracle is that one Monday when my $695 rent was due,
I didn’t have enough with only $589 in my account.
I drove to the rental office that afternoon, intending
to write a check for the full amount with total faith
that God would cover it. The rental manager said, “You
know, I forgot that I need to prorate your rent, because
you moved in a few days into the month.” She ran
her adding machine, and said, “You owe $563.” I
almost fell off the chair! I wept tears of gratitude
and praise to God. Now I’m praying that my 14-year-old
will move in with me so she can participate in Christian-based
home schooling with my neighbor. God continues to teach
me that “things” are not important, showing
me I can depend on Him because He knows my every need
and my heart’s desire before I even ask. I’ve
learned that no matter what I put on the altar, in His
wisdom and in His timing, He solves it.
one of the greatest (and hardest) lesson I learned is
that no one teaches us not to give so much that we lose
it all. As a woman, I was taught to give and give, secretly
hoping that if I gave enough I would be loved, rescued,
and taken care of—which is a grave error. Looking
back, I see that one of the reasons I lost my home was
that I trusted a gentleman at church, but he took advantage
of me to the tune of $15,000. He promised to pay me back
after he completed his schooling in return for my providing
him with a room, food, gas, clothing, etc. But he never
fulfilled his promises. Today I’m in a time of
reconstruction. But as a woman of God, I now know that
I am worthy to dance, to love, to laugh, to be adored,
sheltered, and cared for. And the only One I can find
who actually does that is my Beloved Husband, God.
Reflection by Debbie in California
autumn, after working until the wee hours of the morning
to make enough money to stay afloat, my weary body started
protesting in increasingly distracting ways and finally
pretty much gave out. Afraid I was nearing a heart attack,
having a nervous breakdown, or even dying, I finally
managed to convince a doctor that my symptoms were serious.
I was soon diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Gulp. I
thought this was just for those who had fought in a war! But
the symptom description fit me, who trudged through skirmishes
and fear-filled years with a now exhusband. For years,
my body had been in a constant fight or flight condition,
with abnormal amounts of adrenaline pumping constantly
and I was now stuck in this intense and exhausting condition.
My days of making a regular, predictable income were
doctor’s orders were to take at least four weeks
off work. I ended up unable to return at all and sought
to make an income in what the doctor insisted was a low
stress environment. My search led me to eBay—and
prompt, fun sales! I’m now simplifying, getting
by, and having fun.
although I still limp along financially, somehow I manage
every month. My health continues to be a problem, but
I am able to work out of my home at a pace I can control
with my darling but demanding daughter bouncing about
nearby. I can even “check in” at 3:00 a.m.
on insomnia time, at the first light of dawn, or 12 o’clock
midnight. In addition to providing income, I’m
finding relief—shipping off things I no longer
need or have space for after drastically downsizing and
releasing the peripheries of the bad and/or sad memories
of my divorce.
I’m a lover of books, my daughter and I are newly
committed to not storing up things “where moths
and rust can destroy,” are selling many of our
books, and visiting the library again. On eBay you can
also list out-grown-but-still-in-good-condition clothes
(maternity items are particularly popular), new or gently
used gift items, videos you no longer watch, CDs you
didn’t end up liking, collectibles you can part
with, your own artwork, things you were going to return
but for which you couldn’t find the receipt—in
fact, just about anything you can think of!
are some basics about eBay to get you started:
an eager worldwide market from your desktop and earn
extra income today simply by registering. Learn as
you go with free tutorials, starting without any overhead
or inventory; a closet or garage will do. As you clear
up your clutter, be amazed at what others want.
is a secure site with highly maintained checks and
balances in regard to online selling.
customer service folks who respond graciously to any “Oops!”
record keeping that’s understandable even when
you’re sleepy or distracted.
the rewards and kind words of Positive Feedback—eBay’s
Better Business Bureau.
fascinating facts about life in other countries through
e-mails with friendly buyers and make connections for
future travel if you so desire.
tips for simplifying, getting by, and having fun:
jump in! You can do it. For an overview, log on to www.ebay.com; click
the buttons in the blue bar near the top of page entitled “Welcome
by selling only one or two items at a time so you won’t
get overwhelmed. Follow the process through to the
end to see if you like it and to get the hang of it
before you list a plethora of things.
extra effort into the title of your item. This is key
for searches and can make or break your sale. Study
eBay’s suggestions. After you list an item, search
to see if your title is effective; change it, if necessary.
(Note: Be patient. It takes time for an item to show
- Use “Turbo
Lister” available on their site to easily and
attractively list items without any knowledge of HTML.
complimentary or similar items together. Although fees
are low, they add up; the higher the total sale, the
more your profit will be. Selling a lot of items makes
your listing unique, attracts more buyers who appreciate
the savings on shipping. Example: Sell several CDs
by the same artist together; you’ll pay the same
fees for three as you would for one.
- Use “Gallery.” This
option puts a photo by your title; costs .25 cents,
and is a great way to stand out from the crowd. Someone
browsing hundreds of items is more apt to click on
yours when there’s a photo.
a bright or unique background for your photos and make
it your theme. This helps customers find your other
items and also makes gallery photos stand out more.
free to ask even the silliest question. Ebay Customer
Service Representatives are wonderful to work with,
friendly, and willing to help.
by Priority Mail and set your shipping price when you
list. Boxes, tape, envelopes, etc. are free with this
service; and makes packing easy and quick. Listing
the shipping price before the sale means you receive
you’re selling to mere humans. Don’t be
intimidated. Most of the buyers are not professionals.
They appreciate any extra attention or generosity and
will be forgiving as well. This is your opportunity
to encourage and uplift!
your item doesn’t sell, don’t panic. You
can relist easily; and if you sell the second time
around, your second batch of fees will be refunded
with few exceptions. If the item doesn’t sell,
consider it time well spent and forge ahead. You’re
honing your eBay savvy.
that God directs the right people to your items. His
deep desire is to bless you.
you’d like to see my listings, log on to www.ebay.com, click
on search, then click by seller, type in debbiebythesea;
then click search again. Voila! You’ll see
my items. God bless your Ebay endeavors. May you enjoy
the peace that comes with lessening your clutter.
for today by Kari
you already know, divorce is
not only about emotions, but also about money. It is
important to protect your assets. Choose wisely the professionals
you work with, whether it’s an attorney, financial
planner, accountant, insurance agent, or tax adviser.
You may qualify for legal assistance if you have a limited
income and find a local office in your state by calling
the Legal Services Corporation at 1-202-336-8800. For
names of financial planners in your area, call the Institute
of Certified Financial Planners Consumer Assistance Line
at 1-800-282-7526. Fellow survivor sister, Sheri in Arizona,
maintains www.enrich-yourlife.com where
you can obtain a free booklet on working from home.
your situation, remember that your greatest assets are
secure. They are God—and you! So keep your wits
about you, guard your health, and pray like crazy. Do
the best you can with what you know. If you make a mistake
or two, realize that it is not the end of the world.
Pick yourself back up; then applaud yourself for having
the wherewithal to be able to do anything at all. Tomorrow
is another day. Like Desiree and Debbie, you are still
becoming who God created you to be. None of us can ever
go back to being the person we were before the wound—and
we wouldn’t want to, because we are so much wiser
as a result of all we’ve gone through.
promise you can trust
sustain me as you promised, that I may live!
for any reason you do not want to remain on the DivorceWise
Newsletter list of subscribers, please let me know and
you will be removed. Just click
here or send
your request for removal to Garden Glories Publications,
P. O. Box 11692, Pleasanton, CA
94588. This disclaimer clarifies that I am not sending
spam, but that you subscribe to my mailing list at your
request. Note that all outgoing newsletters are checked
by Norton Security.
you are an e-mail subscriber and wish to send a copy
of this current issue to a friend, click the link inside
the rose arbor on the first page, or log on to www.gardenglories.com/Newsletters and
click inside the rose arbor of the online issue. To share
your story, e-mail by Clicking Here or
write me at the P. O. address above. Archived issues
available upon request. ©2003 by Kari West